Learning how to grieve, and spark joy amidst sadness
During the anniversary month of the death of my father — Emmanuel Francios Gamor — #GamorLegacy these past couple of weeks I have been pensive, reflective, and conscious of the tools I (may not) have in dealing with grief.
Emmanuel Gamor & Emmanuel Gamor
It hit me recently how silently my family chooses to grieve, after a Facebook post I shared of his funeral almost a decade ago that the loss of the three most important people: first my grandma Rebecca Quartey, my step-baby-brother Jacobus Vanderpuye.
In the case of my brother, not a word has been spoken about him in our family publicly — as if the burden of recollection and loss is our own to bear, individually. From what I have read, this happens especially with young children.
Dedication of my first photo book to my brother, circa 2008
I mention/type out my loved ones’ names in full for the first time publicly; and if you have any insights on dealing with loss and grief, especially after a global pandemic exacerbated by global economic recession do send them my way. I received an outpour of love from the post to which I am not able to express my full gratitude. Sending love and light to any of you experience also experiencing grief for a loved one(s).
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Dad.
Grieving you has always been painful
Honoring you has been such a lonely journey
And for the heavy personal & professional price just to be with you during those final moments, it is still and always will be worth it.
What I won’t do is to hear you shout “Coco come over here” so I can enthusiastically hop on your lap; or on the latest Kawasaki motorbike (I’m still not telling my mom, or shotgun in one of your Jaguar coupes (the two-door was my fave)!
Remember when you came with the Jeep Wrangler (open top) to Presbyterian Boys’ Senior High School so everyone could see you with your boy…
Just me and you. Against the whole wide ewiase (world) #GamorLegacy
Maybe one of these days you will come to visit again, just maybe…
We will talk about the million and one entrepreneurial ideas we have that should work to help other people. Ghana must work.
Uncle Emma, Efo Gamor, Emma Gamor, The Jaguar Man.
Missing you a lot lately. Rest In Peace, rest well. Until we meet again. #RIP
“We commit this body to the ground, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust” — Book of Common Prayer
Emmanuel Francois Gamor 1947–2013
p.s. If you are a listener of the Unpacking Africa podcast, you would recognize my empathetic listening inspiration from popular Psychology Researcher, author, and Podcaster, Brené Brown.
In a recent interview for her new book, Atlas of the Heart, she shares how our emotions show up and influence our decisions and how long true grief lasts in the heart?: “ As long as it takes,” Brown replied. “We live in a culture where people need us to move through our grief for the sake of their own comfort and grief does not have a timeline. It takes as long as it takes.
p.p.s If any of this resonates with you, and you are especially on the African continent know that you are not alone. Let’s set up a digital coffee time to chat, here.